boundaries are strange things. We generally don’t give it them a second thought. Sexual abuse brings them to the forefront though. Victims tend to see the world as a series of boundaries. Be conscious of how your child looks at boundaries.
It may just be his or her room. Does the door need to be open or closed? Do they create barriers that make it difficult to get in and out their rooms? These are all considerations when you look at the boundaries in your life.
What about sports or games? Are they open ended and broad, or are they contained and do they have specific elements of boundaries in them? Now this is true of most sports, but there seems to be an attraction to sports where the boundaries are a prominent aspect of the game. Some examples are volleyball, tennis, and golf. Hockey, baseball, and basketball still have a defined playing area, but going out of bounds is not a penalty.
Finding Comfort
Spacial relationships about where you live are often a similar consideration. Is the area wide open, or enclosed? Look at the situations where your child may be uncomfortable and see if any of these aspects come into play. Everyone has their own preferences in life and some of them come as the result of circumstances such as this. Try to look at where boundary issues impact your child’s life. Once you know what makes them comfortable in the world, you can try to make changes accordingly.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse victim situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
