Monty Hall made a career out of letting people have do overs. If you don’t like the experience the universe has dealt you, you can trade it for what’s behind door number 2. Sometimes it’s a new car, sometimes it’s a herd of goats. It’s designed for entertainment and there isn’t much life altering in the decision either way.
The advantages of cancer
So here’s a hypothetical for you. What if you could trade your abuse? Let’s say you could undo your child’s sexual abuse but you traded it for cancer. There are several advantages to cancer:
- In most cases you can treat it with surgery, medicine or radiation.
- Pink ribbons
- Road races
- Lots of treatment facilities
- Everyone knows someone who has had it
- Lots of people to talk to
- There are social rules that everyone understands
This last one is probably the most important difference. Here are some of the social rules:
- People pray for you in church
- Friends come to visit you while you are in treatment
- Friends bring your family food
- People will talk to you about cancer
- Some people send you cards
- People will give you ideas about how to deal with cancer
- Most people know what to expect and how to react
- Friends will cry with you
Now there’s clearly a downside to cancer, but we’re not going to talk about that. Being intimately familiar with both, I wouldn’t wish either on anyone, but these are the challenges that enter our lives. It does make you wonder though. Wouldn’t it be nice if abuse victims and their families got the same support as people with cancer? Would you trade your abuse for cancer? You probably know the answer.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
