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Your child’s altered future

Your child’s altered future

Sexual Abuse

Most of you will notice that your child before and after their sexual abuse is different.   Your child has an altered future. The change may be subtle so you may not notice right away, or you may just think it’s a phase.  Their perception of the world has been changed, and their actual brain chemistry has been changed.   (Feel free to look up the impact of trauma on the hypothalamus )  The end result is often ADD or ADHD like behaviors (PTSD is frequently misdiagnosed as ADD or ADHD).  Bipolar behavior is also pretty common.  There are also a variety of negative side effects that can lead to antisocial or self destructive behavior.

It’s Not All Bad

The flip side of these conditions is that people with ADD, ADHD and Bipolar disorder go on to do other things like found Apple, Microsoft, Netscape, etc.  Maybe you’ve heard of some of them.  I don’t know if any of them were actually sexually abused, but the behaviors can lead to greatness.  The question is whether your child will descend into a life of self destructive behavior, or change the world?   There are no guarantees either way, but safe to say, you child is probably not going to fit into the world the way you may have originally thought.   I don’t know if there have been any formal studies, but if your child has some of the classic symptoms of sexual abuse, they may be destined to be entrepreneurs.  Here’s a short video that might give you some ideas.

Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.

Total Transformation

Total Transformation

Sexual Abuse

After a couple years of dealing with your child’s sexual abuse, you may start to wonder why there aren’t more training programs or products for people in our situation.  I still don’t know the answer to that one.  At any rate, I’ve included a link to the Total Transformation system which is marketed towards parents of defiant children.  This may not be your situation now or in the future, but this is one of the few things I have found that teaches you skills that help you deal with a sexually abused child as well.  I don’t know that there are any sexual abuse references per se, but I found it useful.

Disclosure

For those of you from the FTC that are viewing this, the link does pay a commission if you buy the product, but I bought the product a couple years ago and definitely would recommend it.  Two key points resonated with me:

  • Whether you have been physically abused, molested, have ADD, a learning disability, etc.  you still have to learn how to live in the world.  These might be challenges, but they can’t be allowed to become excuses.
  • Most negative child behavior is about problem solving skills – or a lack there of.  Parents dealing with child sexual abuse are generally without a manual, or experience dealing with issue.  The kids also suffer because they are dealing with a problem they don’t know how to solve.

Becoming educated about abuse, and becoming an advocate for your child, are going to be the two biggest things that a parent can do to help them get through their abuse.   The Total Transformation system is definitely one product worth taking a look at.