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NCAA vs The Catholic Church

NCAA vs The Catholic Church

Sexual Abuse

This is not the basis for a celebrity death match.  It’s more an observation on who is better at dealing with sexual abuse.   The NCAA definitely gets points for decisiveness.  Their decision in the Penn State case clearly sends a message that the NCAA will not tolerate sexual abuse within the realm of college athletics.  The Catholic Church has yet to make any gesture that even comes close to having the same impact.   In reality it’s probably not a fair comparison.

The Catholic Church has been quietly dealing with (or not dealing with) the issue of abuse within the church for decades.   The strategy has been one of containment.  Move problem priests to places where they are less likely to abuse.  Hire a bunch of lawyers.  Issue a policy statement ever so often.  And write a bunch of checks as they watch churches go bankrupt around the country.   A few select victims get large paydays, but most still suffer in silence feeling forsaken by their church.  This cycle repeats itself over and over.  The problem with the Catholic Church’s approach is that they are a self policing organization.   How do you take a hard line at disciplining yourself?

Catholic Church Oversight

The NCAA has the advantage of being an oversight organization.   Amongst other things  it’s mission is to ensure fair competition, academic standards, and other standards for all collegiate athletics.  Colleges aren’t an extension of the NCAA, they answer to it’s authority.   The Catholic Church tries to be in both roles and fails in the process.

To be fair, the church has made some progress over the year.   They are getting better at dealing with the problem, but they still  aren’t where they need to be.  Some of this is because they are fighting wars on multiple fronts.  Abuse cases are global, and they are quickly followed by lawsuits and diminishing membership.  Where the church has taken a band-aid approach to the cancer in their midst, the NCAA has gone for the shock and awe strike on Penn State.  This full nuclear strike totally eclipsed the results of the sexual abuse case against the diocese of Philadelphia just 100 miles down the road.  Point NCAA!

Advantage NCAA

Media attention aside, this doesn’t actually push a win over to the NCAA side.  The NCAA response is on the scale that we wish the Catholic Church would take, but in reality a more measured approach would have probably been more appropriate.   Much like parents that kill their children’s abusers, the NCAA reacted with as much force as they could, dealing with a problem they had never deal with before.  In some respects the Catholic Church’s approach of pressing buttons to see what works may have actually been a better approach (even though the Church doesn’t do it well).    The Church does have the advantage of experience.  If it were not for the covering up that has gone along with experience, they might have actually come up with an approach that works by now.

I would like the NCAA to reconsider and take a step back from certain parts of their ruling.  Somewhere between the two approaches is something that makes sense.  Many of the sanctions impact the athletes which seems contrary to the goals of the NCAA.   Yes make Penn State an example, but don’t just make it the Nuremberg trial of collegiate sports.  Make Penn State the center for how to deal with sexual abuse in organizations of all types.  Make Penn State fund the initiative at the same level of the sanctions they are imposing.   Create policies that all employees or contracts at NCAA sanctioned schools be mandatory reporters of sexual abuse.  Establish national sanctions for violations of non-reporting. Etc. Etc.

Finding Solutions

This is somewhat of a half baked idea, but I’ve had 10 years to think about how to deal with sex offenders, so I’ve at least had time to think about it.   The NCAA took a bold step, that was largely driven by public pressure rather than a strategic approach to an organizational problem.  This maybe the first college sports sex abuse case to hold center stage on all the major news outlets, but it is probably not the last.  The NCAA has the advantage of being an oversight organization.  They have the potential to succeed at addressing a problem that the Catholic Church is still likely to fail at.    By having Penn State create a center that focuses on developing solutions that work, it could result in successful preventive and appropriate abuse response approaches for all organizations.  Everybody wins!

Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse victim situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.

You should have known better

You should have known better

Parenting

It might not be those exact words but most parents dealing with their child’s sexual abuse will be confronted with someone questioning their judgement, actions, etc. at some point in the process.   This is exactly what happened recently during the lawsuit against the Boy Scouts of America over sexual abuse of scouts.  The president Eugene Grant testified regarding the victim that “his parents should have known better.”

Hind sight is always 20/20. It’s really easy to beat yourself up over what was actually happening once you know the truth.  When someone questions you in this situation, it’s generally not that they are wiser than you, or that they know you did something wrong.  They are actually protecting themselves.  It’s another way of saying “this could not have happened to me”.   And as anyone who has had their child molested will probably tell you, that’s probably what they were thinking right up until they found out it wasn’t true.   If you operate under the assumption that it can’t happen to you, when it does happen to someone else, the logical conclusion is that it was somehow their fault.

Not so fast

The reality is that it can happen to anyone.  There’s about a 1-10000 chance of being involved in a shooting at school.  But almost every school plans for it and educates kids about what to do in a “code red” .   Depending on gender, there is an average 1 in 5 chance that a child will suffer some form of sexual abuse by the time they are 18.  You would think schools or some group would be all over that trying to reduce the risk.  No one wants to talk about it, and as such the idea that “it can’t happen to me” lives on.

Sexual abuse is largely about manipulation and deception so there will always be people who are taken advantage of.  But the more we can educate people about the problem, the less likely it is that it will continue on the same scale in the future.  People actually do need to know better, not just be told that they should have.

Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.