Sexual Abuse
Last week a Catholic Priest made a comment to the National Catholic Register that Priests are often seduced by the children they are accused of abusing. The backlash was swift and prompted an equally quick retraction and apology by Reverend Benedict Groeschel. The back peddling included comments by the priest that “My mind and my way of expressing myself are not as clear as they used to be”. Apparently he had been in a car accident at some point in the past. Strangely the church felt he was still in a position to talk to the media in his diminished condition. The priest also conveyed his sympathy for Jerry Sandusky and that first time offenders should not go to jail “because their attention was not committing a crime”.
While you are pondering this case, it comes closely on the heals of Representative Todd Akin’s comments that in cases of “True Rape” women’s body’s are able to control whether they get pregnant or not. Aside from being equally stupid statements, they are responses to a similar conflict in logic.
Defying logic
In grade school we are often faced with silly logic problems. Johnny likes being under water. Fish live underwater. Therefore Johnny is a a fish. This is an exaggerated example, but in the case of the church it reflects a need to believe that all Priests are true to their calling. If they stray from that calling it must be because someone steered them in that direction. Hence you get the logic that children seduce priests.
In the Akin example , he holds a belief that there are no exceptions for abortion. Rape complicates that belief. You need a mental model that allows you to deal with an absolute belief and a recognition that rape is a crime. Wouldn’t it be nice if the human body knew the difference between sexual interactions that are appropriate and those that are not? That must be it. Pretty soon the hope becomes a reality. Then you go on national TV and look like an idiot because the rest of the world can’t see how you put 2 and 2 together and got 5.
A Painful Drama
This mental drama plays itself out on a smaller scale in most of our children’s abuse cases. It may be as subtle as another parent asking “weren’t you watching your child?”. It’s insulting and self protective at the same time. I’m a good parent. I wouldn’t let this happen. Therefore someone who would let this happen probably wasn’t doing their job. It’s flawed logic, but it’s how people make sense of a conflicting world.
All of these examples are symptoms of a lack of education. When there is a lack of information about a complex situation, the brain wants to fill in the blanks so it can make sense of things. And with situations this complicated, the logic to make sense of them is often as convoluted. What we need is real education so people know that some people can do really good things and really bad things. And much like magic, it involves manipulation. We’ve learned to not scream in horror when a magician cuts a woman in half. We know it’s not real. We have come to recognize that what our senses are telling us are in conflict with what we know to be true. Sexual abuse is a similar manipulation. It’s just not entertaining.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse victim situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
Sexual Abuse
This is not the basis for a celebrity death match. It’s more an observation on who is better at dealing with sexual abuse. The NCAA definitely gets points for decisiveness. Their decision in the Penn State case clearly sends a message that the NCAA will not tolerate sexual abuse within the realm of college athletics. The Catholic Church has yet to make any gesture that even comes close to having the same impact. In reality it’s probably not a fair comparison.
The Catholic Church has been quietly dealing with (or not dealing with) the issue of abuse within the church for decades. The strategy has been one of containment. Move problem priests to places where they are less likely to abuse. Hire a bunch of lawyers. Issue a policy statement ever so often. And write a bunch of checks as they watch churches go bankrupt around the country. A few select victims get large paydays, but most still suffer in silence feeling forsaken by their church. This cycle repeats itself over and over. The problem with the Catholic Church’s approach is that they are a self policing organization. How do you take a hard line at disciplining yourself?
Catholic Church Oversight
The NCAA has the advantage of being an oversight organization. Amongst other things it’s mission is to ensure fair competition, academic standards, and other standards for all collegiate athletics. Colleges aren’t an extension of the NCAA, they answer to it’s authority. The Catholic Church tries to be in both roles and fails in the process.
To be fair, the church has made some progress over the year. They are getting better at dealing with the problem, but they still aren’t where they need to be. Some of this is because they are fighting wars on multiple fronts. Abuse cases are global, and they are quickly followed by lawsuits and diminishing membership. Where the church has taken a band-aid approach to the cancer in their midst, the NCAA has gone for the shock and awe strike on Penn State. This full nuclear strike totally eclipsed the results of the sexual abuse case against the diocese of Philadelphia just 100 miles down the road. Point NCAA!
Advantage NCAA
Media attention aside, this doesn’t actually push a win over to the NCAA side. The NCAA response is on the scale that we wish the Catholic Church would take, but in reality a more measured approach would have probably been more appropriate. Much like parents that kill their children’s abusers, the NCAA reacted with as much force as they could, dealing with a problem they had never deal with before. In some respects the Catholic Church’s approach of pressing buttons to see what works may have actually been a better approach (even though the Church doesn’t do it well). The Church does have the advantage of experience. If it were not for the covering up that has gone along with experience, they might have actually come up with an approach that works by now.
I would like the NCAA to reconsider and take a step back from certain parts of their ruling. Somewhere between the two approaches is something that makes sense. Many of the sanctions impact the athletes which seems contrary to the goals of the NCAA. Yes make Penn State an example, but don’t just make it the Nuremberg trial of collegiate sports. Make Penn State the center for how to deal with sexual abuse in organizations of all types. Make Penn State fund the initiative at the same level of the sanctions they are imposing. Create policies that all employees or contracts at NCAA sanctioned schools be mandatory reporters of sexual abuse. Establish national sanctions for violations of non-reporting. Etc. Etc.
Finding Solutions
This is somewhat of a half baked idea, but I’ve had 10 years to think about how to deal with sex offenders, so I’ve at least had time to think about it. The NCAA took a bold step, that was largely driven by public pressure rather than a strategic approach to an organizational problem. This maybe the first college sports sex abuse case to hold center stage on all the major news outlets, but it is probably not the last. The NCAA has the advantage of being an oversight organization. They have the potential to succeed at addressing a problem that the Catholic Church is still likely to fail at. By having Penn State create a center that focuses on developing solutions that work, it could result in successful preventive and appropriate abuse response approaches for all organizations. Everybody wins!
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse victim situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
Sexual Abuse
Towards Healing and Renewal is the title of a conference on child sexual abuse which is being organized by Gregorian University in Rome with the support of the Vatican. The conference is in Rome Feb 6-9 and includes representatives from a large number of Catholic organizations and Vatican offices. I’m not sure exactly what it says that the Pope will not be in attendance. But it does seem to be typical of the distance the Pope tends to approach the subject with. As such, my expectations are low. Still, this is golden opportunity. Having spent a little bit of time on the edge of the political landscape I can understand why the Pope might watch this from a safe distance.
If this is the first you have heard of this conference that has representatives of over 100 Bishops, I’m sure it’s not a coincidence. The Catholic Church has made so many missteps in dealing with child sexual abuse, as well as being the source of more than their fair share, that they can’t afford another black eye. If the conference come up with a bold direction that can reposition the church as a defender of children, the Pope has a ready entrance to step in and solidify the message. If it falls short, the Pope continues to support efforts to ensure the safety of children and recognizes there is still more work to be done. Leaving the Pope out of the equation also allows the conference to go forward without making the front page of CNN.
Making it all ok
Welcome to the safe road in dealing the sexual abuse. Everyone’s political ass is covered. Sadly this is not part of the recipe for real change. Here’s what I’d like to see happen. Two days of stalemate discussions trying to figure out the best way to limit legal exposure with all the abuse cases. Enter the Pope on day 3. The Pope announces that no-one leaves until they have a comprehensive plan for dealing with abusive priests, protecting children, and supporting victims. On the fourth day, the Pope announces the plan to the world. It’s not perfect, but it sets a new standard within the church and restores the faith of many Catholics who feel betrayed by their church. Or at least that’s how it would play out in the movie version. I guess we’ll have to see what happens in the real world next week.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse victim situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
Sexual Abuse
A definitive report of over 150 pages by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops basically indicates that sexual abuse by priests is a problem from decades past, and was really a symptom of societal dissent from the Vietnam era. Also, any associations of priests to pedophiles is largely a misnomer. That’s the reader’s digest version.
Self Policing
Having done research studies in the past, this one is almost comical. It sites studies from the 1930s and 1940s and then casually states that contemporary studies have found similar results. Can you think of any area of contemporary study that would use information from over half a century ago as a primary reference? The study spends most of it’s efforts showing that sexual abuse in other areas of society is higher, or at least on par with that of the Catholic Church.
We spend a lot of time and energy convincing ourselves and others that we are safe from ourselves. The fact that it is not true doesn’t seem to stop people from trying to make it that way. Saying it doesn’t make it so. Fixing the problem will.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
Sexual Abuse
The Catholic church needs to get clearer on who it serves. The latest story out of the Philadelphia area has 21 priests suspended and as many as 37 additional with credible sexual abuse allegations remaining in active ministry positions. There are too many mixed messages coming from the Catholic Church. They come out and condemn abuse by priests, but at the same time seem to spend an equal if not larger amount of energy protecting the church entity. Does the church serve itself, or is the church in service to millions who believe in the Catholic Church? The reality is often both, and this is where the problem lies.
Protect the Catholic Church
I’m not an expert in Papal Law but from what I have read, much of it is geared toward protecting the institution of the church. This is changing so they do get points for that, but it seem to get used at the convenience of church, and often to the disadvantage of it’s most vulnerable members. The church needs to adopt a zero tolerance for abuse policy. Immediate removal from service during any period of investigation, and permanent removal from the church for any convictions. I’m sure I’m missing the finer points, and conditions for circumstances, etc. but you get the point. They need to be specific so everyone knows what their position is. There is way to much ambiguity betweens words and actions in the Catholic Church. This just leaves the public wondering who their church serves, and eventually leads to a church which serves no one.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
