Sexual abuse takes on many different dimensions. Outside of the developed world it often takes forms that are so common that they actually shape many cultural aspects of developing countries. These girls need your help too. One thing that parents of sexually abused children eventually have to come to grips with is that they often can’t help their own children as much as they would like. They can make difference in the lives of others though.
Child Marriage
Child marriage is considered by many to be legal child abuse and legal sexual assault. Many states allows girls as young as 13 to be married with their parents permission. In the case of many religious groups this is also without the consent of the girl. Many times these are cases of payments to families to cover up rapes or similar situations.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse victim situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
Recently the India Times reported a sharp increase in rapes in India. ” Incest rape cases have increased by 30.7%from 309 cases in 2008 to 404 cases in 2009 as compared to 0.3% decrease in overall rape cases. Crime experts say the highest number of rapes in the country is incest rapes,although they are often not reported”
When is an increase not…
So is this an actual increase, or is it an increase in awareness? As people become more aware the number of reported cases often goes up. Several years ago a local school district tried to be proactive in identifying sexually abused children, so they started asking kids questions. The number of reported sexual assaults went way up. The negative press prompted a disappointing solution to the problem – stop asking. The program went away, and the number of sexual assaults reported went down.
This school district continues to have one of the highest dropout and delinquency rates in the state. It also has a high mortality rate before age 25. The abuse hasn’t gone way, it just manifests in another way. And the cost to the community is high. I can only wonder what would be happening if the program had continued and the community had dealt with the abuse that was actually happening.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
One of the illusions we live with is that the people we work with and trust actually deserve that trust. There was recently a story on CNN about a woman in Mississippi who was involved in the gulf cleanup. She was raped by her supervisor who happened to be a convicted sex offender. CNN tried to follow the trail of the various contractors and subcontractors to see if anyone had actually checked. Every agency basically issued a statement saying it wasn’t their responsibility to check backgrounds. It’s sort of ironic that they generally do require a drug test, but do not do any sort of criminal checking.
What About Our Children
The same is true of most people who work with children. There is NO screening for many positions you might expect. For example – in Connecticut if you work at a camp for children, the only screening requirements are for the director and assistant director. And this is just a self disclosure that you have not been convicted of an offense against a child. And people regularly lie and there is nothing to stop them. Child protective agencies often unsuspectingly hire child molesters who lie to get access to children who have been previously abused (because they make easier targets). It usually takes 30-60 days for a background investigation to be completed, and most workers have access to client records beginning on day 1.
Teachers are a specially messy situation. Since not all states have mandatory reporting regulations, reporting of abuse by teachers is often discretionary. Often times the teacher will agree to resign and that is the end of it. They often pack up and move before any legal action is taken. And based on employment law, someone checking references can only be told that the person was employed by XYZ and the dates.
So don’t take for granted that the people who are spending time with your children deserve your trust. Ask questions and check your assumptions.
Let us know if we can help you dealing with your family’s sexual abuse situation. For ideas to get started please check out our book on what to do during the early days after disclosure.
